Dear Natasha,
My last relationship with a girl was 3 years ago. The 4 year relationship abruptly ended when my ex cheated on me with another guy at a party that I didn’t go to. Since then, I’ve become bitter and vindictive about it. Even though it’s been quite some time now, I am still very hurt by it, thus I have an immediate distrust for people I meet and know. I want to desperately change this, but the fear of being hurt again always overcomes me. What would be your best advice to change my mindset, if I may ask?
Taylor
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Dear Taylor,
I’m one of those people that believes in energy. Every neighborhood has an atmosphere. There is one surrounding the earth and there is an aura or atmosphere around you as well. I believe that if you hold onto things, are bitter, and vindictive, it hangs around you. It attracts more negative energy and it blocks so many good things from getting close to you.
The good thing is, you said you want to “desperately change this.” You need to forgive (let go) and be at peace. The best way to let go of this, is to get a view from way up above….imagine looking at your whole life. Now think back to when your bike got stolen as a kid. At that time, you were so angry and upset. Now as an adult, you look at it as just a situation that happened in your life. It would seem ridiculous to never move on from that event. Now move a little later into your life..somewhere between 17-20….think about the time you didn’t make the basketball team, or didn’t get to go to the prom, or didn’t get that fist job or college you wanted. Yes it hurt. But, would it make sense to remain that angry 17 year old boy?
This will sound harsh, but stop the feeling sorry for yourself routine already! It’s called life…several things will happen to us that make us angry and hurt. But in time, you will look back at almost all of it and see how insignificant it was. Move on. Allow better things to come to you and one day, you will look at this break up, like a stolen bike.
The second thing I said you need after forgiveness is a peaceful mind state. MEDITATE!! I can’t say this enough! If you don’t know how, buy a book this weekend that teaches you.
Meditation takes practice…but the benefits are amazing. When your mind is at peace, things aren’t so bad, right?
Have you ever taken two vicodins and were at such peace, you said to yourself, ” nothing can upset me…I just feel calm?” You can get to that state naturally. I’m sorry for being mean harsh in part of my response, but I feel like it’s what you need right now. Â Plus, IMYAGIRL so I have to give it to you straight sometimes!
IMYAGirl, Natasha
