I’m lost. I’m married, yet I’m always looking to meet other ladies. Everywhere I go, it’s like a mission. I don’t know what’s wrong. I don’t know if it’s me or her. I love her, don’t get me wrong. It’s hard. I go to strip clubs and night clubs where I meet women and it ends up with something happening. Help me! I’m going crazy.
Ace, Ace, Ace
Where do I start? How bout with the fact, you should have never gotten married. Marriage is about two people coming together and sharing their interests, passions and similarities…..while navigating thru their differences. And with all of these experiences their bond should grow and so should the relationship. Marriage is a commitment….your commitment is to herâ€¦not just yourself!! Unless people get that and can apply it, they shouldn’t get married.
Ace, You used the word EVERYWHERE!!! Everywhere I go, it’s like a mission. So, you are on this mission for 1 of 2 reasons. 1) You are just a narcissistic selfish asshole that is out trying to get as much physical pleasure as you can while having no regard for your wife’s emotional well-being.
Or 2) You have a deep-seeded issue, where you constantly need something to tell you, you are worthy…..and by hooking up you feel that your need for attention will be satisfied.
Because you wrote asking for help, I think it’s 2. So many men have this same mental issue. They have a need to see if they can conquer women. They also need the women to tell them that they are the shit. But, in the end, they are never fulfilled. The search and conqueringÂ never works.
Before I get to my opinion on what you should do, I wanna be blunt.
The fact you say you love her….after saying it’s your MISSION to hook up with other ladies is ridiculous. When you love someone, your focus is on pleasing that person and protecting them from pain. Right now you don’t love her. You love yourself.
If you were, in fact, a selfish narcissist, running around getting laid because it feels good to get off, my advice would be to get out of the marriage. Go get laid as much as you want. But leave her alone. She deserves someone that TRULY WANTS to be married.
But like I said, you reached out asking for help. So I honestly think you have an emotional issue. One that might take a little time to uncover. Maybe your mother didn’t give you enough attention or approval at a young age, so you are searching for it through strangers. I don’t know, but I strongly recommend you get counseling. Make THAT your MISSION…to get better.
I think you should also be honest with your wife. Tell her you are damaged and that although she is enough of a person, there is something in your mind telling you that no one is.
Do the work Ace. Wouldn’t you like to have a life, where one person actually does fulfill you? If your mind is right it can happen. Do it for you and because you chose to married you must do it for your wife.
I’m sure this was not her idea of marriage.
Keep the letters coming, I wanna help cuz IMYA GIRL, Natasha
Submit your letters to firstname.lastname@example.org