Where I work, there’s this girl that likes me and I like her too. One day, I was walking across the parking lot. She was waiting for me in her car. When I walked by, she said, “Hey wait for me!”, so I did. While we were walking, she asked me what I was doing Friday night. I said, “Nothing”. She said, “Do you want to go out?” It almost floored me. I was in shock. I was excited yes, of course! She took me to a bar. When we first got there, she tried to buy a drink and I said, “no thank you. I don’t drink.” Ever since that night, she avoids me, won’t talk to me, won’t return my text messages. Did I insult her by saying no to her offer? She won’t tell me! I’m really confused.
Thank you for the letter. It looks like what you want, more than advice, is to know what the hell happened??!! All anyone can do here is guess. Luckily for you, my guesses are always right!! LoL 😛 Here’s what we know. We know she had some attraction to you, because she approached you and asked you out!! That’s good!
There’s only two points I see where something might have gone wrong:
1) When she asked you out. You mentioned that you were almost floored. Although you want to show a girl your excitement, you don’t want to come across like the girl is out of your league and her asking you out was like winning the lottery. If you did, she might have asked herself, “Why is this guy so shocked? Does he not think he’s good enough?” And, if that question was already in her mind, one more little thing about your personality might have meant no call back.
2) When you turned down the drink. Obviously she is a social person that likes to drink. She chose a bar as the first place to hang out. She is so comfortable with that type of scene that she offered to buy a drink to get things started. When you said no to the drink, she instantly knew in her mind, that this wasn’t going to be a match. Her taking you to the bar was like a person that’s really religious taking someone to their church and hoping you have prayer in common…then you say, I don’t believe in God.
So, why did she not answer any texts? I think she would be too embarrassed to say, ” I can’t hang with you, because I love to drink and you don’t.”
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you for not drinking. That’s great! In fact, most people would be fine with you not drinking even though they do. As far as we know, she either doesn’t want to take a chance on being judged for her drinking or maybe she really wants a partner that is right there going shot for shot with her.
The good thing is, you only had one date. It didn’t work. I say let it go. Try not to think of this girl, because she has moved on. There are plenty of girls that you are a match with!!
Good luck Jim!!
Submit your letters to firstname.lastname@example.org