Dear Natasha,
Do you think it is ok to lie about certain things when you are single and looking for perspective dates? As a kind of test, as long as you admit to them before things get serious?
For instance, if you are incredibly rich, is it ok to lie about it so that you don’t end up with a girl pretending to love you when in reality she wants you for your money? Or if you’re amazingly attractive (or amazingly unattractive) and dating online, do you think it’s ok to lie about your appearance so that the shallow people who only care about looks will get weeded out?
These are the kind of lies I mean, lies that are meant to help avoid shallow meaningless relationships, not just lying to be a dick. If you think lying is wrong, do you have any alternative advice to help avoid shallow gold diggers and the like?
Thanks for the advice, Corey
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Dear Corey,
Oh boy, here we go….people are going to say the advice I give out is contradictory.
Thus far, while giving my advice, I have been a huge preacher…and the gospel I preach is called truth! I’ve said right here in this feature that you need to be honest in relationships. I believe that lies and hiding the truth are a cancer that will eventually kill any relationship. However this is an exception…BECAUSE….tympani drum….it’s not yet a relationship!
If I met you online Corey, and you told me that you were broke….then on the third date when you realized you liked me, you revealed that you were not broke….and that you told me something different initially because you were concerned about meeting the wrong kind of person…I WOULD NOT BE MAD IN THE SLIGHTEST.
I look at it this way. If a stranger on the bus asked your address, you have a right to give him/ her the wrong one because you don’t know them. If a guy runs up to a girl outside a club as she is getting in get car and says, “what’s your phone number Gurl?” You have a right to give them a false one. Are these lies? Sure. But you are doing it to protect yourself from so many possibilities…not to be decieptful.
Now, THE MOMENT you realize you want to cultivate something with someone, DON’T LIE!!! I don’t believe in lying during the “dating with hopes for a relationship” phase and I DEFINITELY don’t believe in lying when you are in a relationship.
I know that a lot of people disagree with me by reading the opinions below, but I feel like it’s okay. I feel like you are a good person that has no idea who these people are and you just want to do a quick little check. Any one of these people could be THAT ONE that is trying to get with you for the wrong reasons. And if they are good enough at pretending, you could end up with a gold digger that done dug in all deep before you could even see it! Lol.
Good luck Corey. Be careful. Everyone else, it is NEVER my intent to be argumentative with you. We will just have different ways at looking at things sometimes, right?
If you have a question you’d like to share with me and the IMYAGIRL family… Send an email to advice@imyagirl.com
