Please watch the video to find out why I’m wearing this hot dog & details about the letter.

Hi Natasha,

I wanted your advice about how to handle something going on with my fiancé, Shae. We have been together 3 years and engaged for the past year.

The main problem is, Shae doesn’t get along with my Mom. My mother and I have been close my entire life. She is who she is, set in her ways, and probably not going to change at this point in her life.

My mother has been hard on Shae almost the entire time we have been together. Honestly my Mom can be mean. She has been that way to all of the boy’s girlfriends. I told my fiancé not to take it personal. She dealt with it well our entire relationship, but recently, Shae has been standing up to my Mom and getting into arguments with her. And now that we are getting married, Shae is shutting her out of everything.

Now that Shae is arguing with my Mom and has pushed her out of the wedding planning, it’s causing a serious strain on MY relationship with my mother. She told my brother recently that she can’t believe her own son would allow someone to talk to her like that. So my Mom is upset with me.

And as far as Shae, I’m glad she has never asked me to say something to my Mom, cus I wouldn’t. But now I’m starting to see some anger or resentment from her when I don’t.

I hate being caught in the middle of these 2 women that I love. Do you have any advice on how to handle this?

Gary

Gary,

If you want a happy marriage, DON’T listen to the comments that advise you to take your Mother’s side at all costs. DO listen to many of the others.

You do want a great marriage right? Then it’s time to show your girl that you have her back. I’m not saying have her back all the time. Shit, if she is rude to your mother and your mother has done nothing wrong, then stand up for your Mom. I guess the best advice would be, let your Mom & your fiancé talk on their own, but if one is being abusive, nasty or mean, STEP IN and say, “Hey, I love this woman. She deserves better.” Then tell them if this was reversed, I would be saying the same thing.

It was interesting to see comments that suggested you should always stand by family. HELLO!! That’s what you are about start with your fiancé! A family. And she HAS TO KNOW you are her protector. If I were her, I would be thinking that the man I wanted to spend my life with is too afraid to even stand up to his own Mommy. I personally couldn’t be with a man that is afraid of his mother and would sit by and watch her walk all over me. NO THANKS!

I’m actually worried for your relationship at this point. You are not even married and you think your fiancé is already starting to resent you. It’s time to do damage control now.

My advice is, tell your fiancé that you love your mother very much. And in an attempt to show her the upmost respect, you allowed her to get away with a lot. Tell her, however, that you are going to start standing up to your mother. And then, do it.

Tell your mom that you love this woman and you can’t allow ANYONE to mistreat her. Tell her that you also wouldn’t let anyone mistreat your own mother. If your mother can’t live without being a bitch to your fiancé, than let your Mom know you will stop coming by until she makes the change. She might get mad. She might not speak to you for a while. That’s her choice. Hopefully, she will come around. If not, it’s still her choice. But YOU chose to get married. That means act like it.

If you aren’t going to stand up to your Mom, then don’t get married. Just be single and focus on making your Mom happy.

I’m sorry if this response seems harsh, but too many woman have had to deal with overbearing, rude mothers because their sons are acting like pussies!

Love ya Gary! Go do what’s right!

IMYAGirl… Natasha

NOTE TO EVERYONE WHO LEFT A NOTE BELOW:
The comments by all of you were absolutely amazing in my opinion! We’re not going to all agree with one another. That would suck if that was the case. Although I have strong opinions on some things, like this letter. I definitely respect and appreciate all the different perspectives. I think I’ve said it before, but that’s why this is my favorite feature of the site.

WINNER OF THE PEPSI HALFTIME FOOTBALL:  Robert Dolan
*I chose the winner by a random draw in a hat. Yep I really wrote every name and put it in a hat.  Thank you everyone who participated. I hope to continue to bring you cool prizes…. STAY TUNED!!!

 

If you need advice, send in your letter advice@imyagirl.com

Dear Natasha,

I emailed a while back before I knew about this section. I catch a lot of heat from other girls for dating a Japanese woman. Most of them calling me a pervert or accusing me of having an Asian fetish. I just found a woman of Asian descent to be more attractive and I feel that it goes deeper than outward appearances… So my questions are: Do you notice there seems to be an issue when it comes to Caucasian/Asian relationships? If so, why? Why is it such a big deal? Why would people get angry about it? I’m not only asking for myself, my girlfriend catches a lot of heat from people AND HER FAMILY for dating me as well.

Ryan

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Dear Ryan

I’ve only had 3 boyfriends in my life. The first was Asian. Everyone seemed to be fine with that. The second boyfriend was Mexican and that seemed to ruffle a few feathers. The third boyfriend was white. That made me the target of a lot of hatred. It was mostly Asians that said mean and vile things. Actually, I still get harassed from time to time.

I want to help you make the distinction between someone having hatred for you and someone having an issue with you dating an Asian woman. The ones that have hatred for you can fuck off. They are the ones that throw around the word racist, but they are, in fact, the most racist people on the planet. They are super closed-minded, AND YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE THEIR MINDS. But, there are some that have an issue with you dating an Asian woman that stems from somewhere or some thing. Sometimes these people can be shown that your intentions are pure and you aren’t a bad guy.

TRY TO CONSIDER: The Protective
Some Asian people, mostly older, have an issue because they are being protective. They are just trying to look out for their daughters or Asian women as a whole. When “Mailer Order Brides”, first became an option for lonely men looking for a wife, it was mostly white men snatching up Asian women. The reasons many of those men liked the women is because they could take advantage of their desire to come to the country for a better life, their humble personalities and their vulnerable position from being here without any family. Many of these men were mean and demeaned these ladies.

Old school Asian parents have also seen a lot of white service men come into their native countries looking for prostitutes. They fear that when they go back home, they will search out an Asian woman with the mindset that she is just something sexual to be used. Even as a child, I was skeptical of white men from what was portrayed in the movies and TV. The old school families have a lack of trust for the guys and why do they give their daughters a hard time for dating white guys? Because they don’t want them to be stupid and fall for someone that doesn’t respect them.

What I would do is show your girlfriend’s parents that you are a good guy. Be super respectful to them. If you ever get the chance, tell them how much respect you have for her and the entire family and then show them that respect. Show them that you are kind. DO NOT run or hide from her family. It just adds to the suspicion.

In my relationships, the Asian and Mexican guy never won my father over, because they just cared about their relationship with me. The white guy was different. He had serious conversations with my father and made it his mission to show that his intentions for me were all paved with RESPECT.

ALSO TRY TO CONSIDER: The Younger Males
There are some young Asian ladies that say, ” I won’t date an Asian guy.” Obviously, if a young Asian guy hears that enough and sees a lot of girls in his close circle only dating white guys, you can see where he would start to feel like, “What the hell? I’m not good enough?”  This, of course, happens in all cultures. If a lot of black women heard black men saying, “I don’t date black women” and saw them with only white women, it would hurt. And hurt often turns to anger. The anger is then directed at both people. I am personally not one of those girls. I do have a girlfriend that won’t date Asian men because of the way her father mistreated her mother. I honestly don’t have enough info as to why other girls would not be open to dating “their own kind.” Again the word is respect. If you shows these guys that you have respect for them, they will not hate you for the issues the girls have.

You mentioned someone possibly thinking this could be a fetish. I don’t think that is an issue. There are all sorts of fetishes and all sorts of people that have them. Because something is so different, people get a fascination with it. But you don’t date and marry fetishes. You look at photos and videos…maybe an interaction.

I think people will have an issue with you for one of the 3 reasons I mentioned. One, because they are fearful you are one of the guys that might think you can take advantage or control an Asian girl. That can possibly be overcome. Two, because they think you are the reason they are not getting the girl. And three, because they are filled with hate…and the very thought of one of “their own” mixing with you makes them angry. There is NOTHING you can do about that.

So, just go be the greatest guy you possibly can to your girl. AND now that I’ve explained that her family might be fearful of your intentions, try to win them over. It can happen!! Anyone else outside of that, that has a problem with you and your girl being together…..FUCK EM!! Who cares what they think? I mean that seriously. I noticed you were letting some of the comments this week, get to you. DON’T!

Hit me in a few months after you have made some effort with the family okay? I wanna know, because IMYAGIRL,

Natasha

Dear Natasha,

How do I get my ex-girlfriend back? I was a bad boyfriend that took her for granted when she was so caring towards me. Is it possible to get her attracted in me again?

She said that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship for the time being because it’s stressful.

After she broke up with me around Valentines Day, she messaged me constantly. I decided to have no contact with her. I blocked her on FB to give myself time to heal and realize the mistakes I made in the relationship. After I added her back on Facebook, she started interacting with me by sharing articles and stuff like that.

On the 1st of April (talk about bad timing), I initiated contact with her by texting her something innocuous, asking her about her puppy I used to play with constantly. I didn’t get a reply. After an hour, I panicked and “terrorized her” with a bunch of other texts, like telling her what movies I’ve watched. I realized that I acted very needy and the texting was a huge mistake. She eventually replied, but it was very neutral.

A week later, I asked to talk to her through the phone. We talked. She said that she still has feelings for me, but she is not in love with me anymore. I asked her whether or not she still wants to be friends with me and she replied, “It’s up to you, I’m okay if you want or don’t wanna be my friend at all.”

We’ve been chatting fine now with a few laughs here and there.

I’m a changed person now and feel that I owe her so much when I think about how well she treated and sacrificed for me when we were together. I want to have another chance to make things right and make her feel happy in a relationship.

Should I get her back? Should I even want her back? If so, what should I do to re attract her again. My friends suggested that I move on until she changes her mind about relationships. But what do you think? To be honest, I still sometimes see myself spending the rest of my life with her, and I also think that the reason why she is upset and phobic towards relationships is because I was a bad boyfriend. But I realized my mistakes and am more than ready to change for the better. However, I’m not sure how she’d receive the message I’m trying to convey. But one thing’s certain, I am totally sincere about this.

I gladly appreciate a female perspective on my current situation.

Jason

*********************************************************

Jason,

Thank your for your letter. I think my response is going to sting a bit, but it is the truth. And once you realize the truth, you can then move forward in a positive manner.

The truth is…it is over. You CAN NOT get her to be attracted to you again.

Every woman is pretty much the same and so is ALMOST every man. Every woman that falls in love with a man will put up with a lot of shit. She hopes and hopes and hopes that he will be the romantic, caring , kind and attentive person that she dreamed of. ALMOST every man, at some point in his life, will act like an ass on occasion (sometimes more) and take his girl for granted. She will get hurt and she’ll cry and then….the guy will do it again. She will get hurt and cry and then….the guy will do it again. Each time this happens, she wipes away the tears and moves on physically, but inside she has been scared. Over time these scars add up to ONE BIG HURT that she CAN’T overcome….then….IT’S OVER.

If you look back there are many chances that you could have made a change. She would have been able to move on with the scars, but when it’s over, it’s over.

This is usually when the man is now willing to change….after she has lost it. Here is what EVERY SINGLE GUY DOES after she has made THE FINAL break up.
Step 1: Be a jerk or a tough guy and show that he doesn’t need her.
Step 2: Apologize and say something extreme like, “You are the one I want to spend my life with….I want to marry you now.”
Step 3: Get super angry because things are not going his way.
Step 4: Cry to her.
Step 5: Ask to be her friend, while hoping deep down to win her over.
Step 6: Try to make her jealous by working out or showing her pics of him w another hot girl (this one makes girls laugh…sorry)
Step 7: Sit in a pattern of denial about things, when deep down he knows it’s over.
Then repeat a few of those steps in any order.

When she said you guys can be friends…that’s it…that is all she wants….when she sees you trying to get things back or when you ask if she is seeing anyone new…it just pushes her further away.

The truth is, she is not afraid of relationships. She is just done with you. In fact, the likelihood that some other guy was nice to her, while you took her for granted or treated her poorly is EXTREMELY HIGH! I’m not saying that girls cheat while you are being a shitty boyfriend. I’m saying as they start to fall out of love, they see another guy like a co-worker, friend or classmate that is sweet and realize, “Wow, there truly is something better out there for me.” Sometimes they end up with that person. Most of the time, it’s with someone else. BUT, they are gonna get with someone relatively quick.

See, here’s the thing about girls and their pain….they hurt a lot when you go overboard. I don’t mean a simple argument, because we all have those. I mean when you are a total jerk, they really really hurt. Even though you apologize, the hurt stays with them for a while. But they hold out hope for the relationship to work. She will go through break ups and apologies, and nights of being yelled at and and treated like shit, and saying, “I’m okay, everything is fine.” Then one day, after she has been hurt for the final time, and after someone else shows her that she deserves better, BAM- she loses it….IN AN INSTANT. And she can’t get it back. With enough strength and encouragement from her friends, she leaves. Now take a guess at who’s turn it is to hurt? That’s right, the guy. You didn’t really hurt during all those fights. Now you will. And what really troubles men, while they are hurting, is when they see how fast the girl gets with the next guy.

If you are wondering, “How can a woman move on to a man only 2, 3 or 5 months after we broke up?” Because they have already been processing all of the pain.

In all of my experience from talking with guys and girls and going through my own bullshit…I have also learned one other thing….although women can move on relatively quick, it’s the guys that can’t. They will stay in denial and or pain for years. Even if they get with another woman, they will think of the one that walked away.

I should point out that, yes, some girls will give it another try after they have lost it, but they don’t really want to. That just get tired of the crying and begging. But are they REALLY in love with the guy anymore? No.

I should also point out that there are a very small number of guys that will not be in pain when the girl leaves….that’s because they never truly loved her. The bottom line is, when love is abused…it hurts!!! And both have to go through it one way or another!!

Jason, now that you know the truth, you should do 2 things. 1) Accept it and move on. I’m serious. It’s over. You know it’s over too. If it wasn’t over she would be talking with you about how you are going to work this out together. Accept it and move on, so that you can heal. It’s going to be a long time, but in time, you will be okay. If you keep reaching out to her, it’s like picking off a scab. Then you have to start over. Stop all the talk about friendship. Although she would be fine with being friends, that’s all she’ll ever want, but you need to get through the pain of losing someone. And it always hurts worse when you know you fucked up.

2) Don’t fuck up next time. Okay? Learn from this relationship!! Don’t take the next girl for granted. When you are about to ignore her for 2 days or when you are about to scream something hurtful to her or when you are about to take her for granted….STOP…..ask yourself if you want to be with this girl or not….because NOBODY KNOWS where the “I LOST IT point” is…but, it’s there inside of every woman.

IMYAGirl,

Natasha

Please watch the video above for details then leave your feedback below.

Dear Natasha,

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I’ve been with my fiancé for 5 years. We are getting married this summer. We have a good relationship. We both trust one another. We are not the type to go looking through each other’s things.

My sister, who is divorced said, “Look before you get married, you need to do a small amount of snooping. Just to know exactly what you are getting into.” She said, “How many times have you watched Dateline or some show where the wife had no idea that her husband had another side?”

So, I looked through his things. My heart was pounding, partly because I felt it was wrong for me to search and partly because I thought, “What if I found something horrible about this man I love, like child pornography.” I told myself I would only look 3 times. And, on the third time, I found something.

It’s not something horrible, but it’s enough to have me wondering. What I found on his computer was a folder of porn. The entire thing is filled with girls that are the total opposite of me. I’m a blonde woman, medium build. This folder contains all petite Asian women.

It has me wondering, is this what he really wants? I’m definitely feeling less sexy now. And I FEEL like I see him checking out Asian woman all the time. I also know that I might be letting my mind go wild with this.

I’d love to hear if you think this is a big deal, how it would make you feel, and where you would go from here.

I’d also like guys that have a porn stash like this to tell me HONESTLY what it’s all about. Please do not use my real name.

“Summer”

Summer,

So, I have to say, all of the responses from the guys were great. I think the best thing we can do, if we want to understand men, is to really listen to them. You asked them to be honest and they really were.

What I have learned and continue to see is that men are creatures that like visual stimulation. And they like to view a variety of material. The material they choose to view most likely has nothing to do with you and your relationship.

Where I would be concerned is if his appetite for porn affects your relationship. If he isn’t having sex with you, but you know he is masturbating to these photos, I would have a conversation with him. However, when you wrote, you didn’t mention any issues that exist in the bedroom.

I don’t think there is a reason to confront him and as a result, mess up a good relationship. It would just mean you are focused on something unnecessarily and then he would also be focused on the fact his girl looks through his things… all bad. I would say drop it. I’ll give you one thing to think about and then I suggest you leave it all out of your mind. The fact that he looks at the girls for his little fetish should make you feel better about all this. He’s not looking at a bunch of women like you because he has you. You are the woman he chose to marry. He wants YOU for actual sex. The other photos are just there because it is taboo and outside the barrier of his reality. He might even move on from the Asians, to black or latin women… seriously!

Thank you for the letter Summer. One final thing, be careful of outside influences telling you how you should live your life. It could create a problem that never existed.

Love, “YaGirl” Natasha

If you need advice, send in your letter to advice@imyagirl.com

WATCH THE VIDEO above to hear Leo’s letter & mess of a situation!

Please share this page/video with a friend and subscribe to my brand new channel.

Dear Natasha,

I’m wondering if I should get married in 2 weeks.

The girl I’m supossed to marry is not the love of my life. I love her as a friend and I’ve let this whole thing go too far.

I have grown up with this girl since the 7th grade. I knew that she always had romantic feelings for me, but I never felt more for her. Two years ago when we were high on drugs she told me she loved me and wanted to marry me. I said let’s do it. Then 2 days later she acted like it was serious.

I then sat and thought, “Why not? She would be an amazing wife?”

I never stopped that train. It rolled strong and fast. Within no time, she told everyone. And now here we are getting married in 2 weeks.

I know I’m not going to stay with her, but the question is, do I break up now and embarrass her? She would have to un-invite 250 people and explain why I walked out. I know her well. That would absolutely devastate her. Or should I break up with her a few months into the marriage and explain my true feelings? She would also be pretty devastated over this as well, but it would allow her to slowly explain to the world, that it just didn’t work out.

I obviously need an answer now!

Leo

Leo,

Thank you for writing me and sharing your situation with all of us. There were a lot of harsh words thrown at you for allowing things to get this far with your friend. I think the one word I kept seeing was “pussy”. Ouch, that was a bit harsh.

However, everyone was right, you should have stopped that train to marriage a long time ago, if you weren’t in love. BUT, GUESS WHAT!? This doesn’t all fall on you. I blame your friend as well. She’s the one that got the train rolling. As your good friend AND being female, she knew the truth- the truth that you were not in love with her.

I wish this letter could be addressed to both of you. I’d first say to her, “Come on, you don’t ask someone to marry you while you are high. And if you do, you need to have conversations about it after you step back into reality. You don’t run full-speed into the world, making announcements that you are getting married. That’s the equivalent of your bank mistakenly adding $30,000 account and then you racing to every store to spend it. In both scenarios, you are ignoring the reality, that is going to come around and bite you in the ass!”

I believe she ran and told everyone that you guys were engaged to manipulate the situation. She clearly knew you would have a hard time hurting her feelings. In fact, she banked on it. It should be no surprise when you sit her down for a reality check.

My advice is, talk to her NOW. I believe it’s okay to say, “You KNOW we are just friends… you took a moment when we were high and ran with it… and then I allowed it to happen because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” Tell her that you take full responsibility for your part as well. Let her know you are both wrong for ignoring the fact that THERE NEVER WAS A BIG LOVE TO BASE an ENGAGEMENT OFF OF!

My other advice is in line with what some others have already said …for your part in this mess… offer her the option of canceling the wedding OR going through with it.. and telling people later it didn’t quite work, because we are, ‘more friends than anything.’

My advice to her, if she were reading this should be, “get married, enjoy the night, get through this stupid mistake together, stay friends and laugh bout it one day when you are old.”

Good luck to the both of you!

IMYAGirl,
Natasha

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Natasha,

Thanks for bringing the site back. I think it’s great that you take time to interact with people on this level.

My question is, how long do I have to pay for my mistake?

I f#ck*d up! I’ve been with the same girl for 5 years. About 6 months into our relationship I went out with a bunch of friends to a strip club. We drank way too much. Next thing I know one of my friends and I got left with no car. We were both pretty wasted.

One of the strippers offered to take us home after she got off.  She dropped my friend off first.  Then she pulled up to my apt. She asked if I lived alone.  I said no I have a girlfriend. She took that as some kind of challenge. She asked me to kiss her and I said no. She then said I’ll kiss you and unzipped my pants and started giving me a you-know-what.

Sorry to be graphic, but I got there fast and she pulled her head away right at the moment and a mess happened in my pants. I think she did that on purpose.

I walked into the apt. My girl was right there.  I tried to run to the bathroom and she stopped me. She got all crazy and asked what I was hiding.  She put her hand right there and felt it.

I apologized so many times. I admitted it was all my fault. I told her it wasn’t something I wanted. I’m telling you now, I would never let something like that happen again. She told me to quit drinking and I did. I never go out with my friends. It’s 4 and a half years later and not only does she not trust me, she will bring it up in a fight. She’s also told her close friends and I feel judged every time I see them.

I don’t want to leave her. I love her. But I don’t want to pay for that :15 second BJ for the rest of my life. How long do I have to pay for my mistake?

Carter

Carter,

I agree with what many have said.  One mistake doesn’t define a person as a whole. You are definitely more than that isolated incident.  However, I can’t agree that it’s time to leave her.

Before I tell you why I don’t think you should leave, I want to remind everyone that a broken trust of any sort can not only hurt, but it takes time to mend.

If you (or anyone reading) had a business partner who allowed some stranger to see your design and as result your idea was stolen, you would be upset. If your roommate was supposed to watch the dog you had for 7 years and left the gate open, allowing a stranger in to take it, you would be hurt.

This person is not a business partner or a roommate.  It’s the person you love.  She trusted in you, and you allowed a stranger to do something very personal.  Although some have said, it’s not your fault, the stripper took advantage of you, I disagree.  You should have called your girl and asked her to come pick you up. If things were reversed, I’m sure you, and most guys reading this, wouldn’t want some male stripper giving your drunk girl a ride home.

It seems to me like you know this is all your fault, but I just wanted others to put themselves in your girl’s shoes.  Like I said, it hurt her a lot and she is still in a vulnerable place.

The reason I don’t think you should leave is because you told me how much you love her. We already know she loves you because she stayed with you after you walked in the door with #@# in your pants.   So, she loves you and you lover her.  When you love someone YOU DON’T QUIT ON THEM just because times are difficult.  It surprises me how many people claim to love someone but quit so easily.

First, if you haven’t already, you have to tell her that you know you hurt her.  Tell her that if things were reversed and a sexual act took place between her and a guy during a ride it would hurt you too.  And you have to tell her that you know it will take some time to heal.  Those are things you usually need to communicate early on.

This is ALL about COMMUNICATION.

Second, you need to calmly talk to her about how she feels at various stages of the relationship. When you are fighting and she brings it up, allow it to happen for that moment.  A few days later, talk to her about bringing it up.  AFTER you have heard where she is at with things, let her know that you don’t want her to bring it up when it has nothing to do with the argument you are having. Remind her that you are doing everything you can to make sure that she gets to that place of not feeling so vulnerable again.  That’s what all of this is about. It’s not really about her trusting you.. It’s about her getting hurt again.  The thought you could hurt her like that again, is paralyzing. If you show her that you care and that you are working on her feelings of vulnerability, you can get her back to a good place.

I think it’s good you backed off the drinking and partying with friends, for now.  In the end, a great relationship and marriage can be much more fulfilling than partying at clubs or the strip club. I’m not saying drop your friends.  As you get back to going out with them, just give her a call while you are out.  Text her while you are out.  Make her feel safe for a bit. She will eventually realize that you are a good, caring guy that made a mistake and learned from it. She will get there by your ACTIONS, not your words.

NOTE: In the case that you are with a girl that throws this in your face all the time despite all your efforts, then yes, I’d say you need to COMMUNICATE to her that you will be leaving if you are not given the chance ever to be in a forgiving and growing relationship.  But, I would only walk out on someone that I love after I had honestly tried everything I could to help them heal.  Especially if I was the one that hurt them.

Finally, she needs to STOP talking about this to her friends NOW.  Take her for a walk or a little dinner and tell her that it makes you feel like shit to be judged.  Tell her that this is an issue between you two.  Let her know that you wouldn’t talk about private matters regarding her to your friends, especially embarrassing things.

I wish you guys the best.  Keep us updated. And stay in there! (Unless you are being totally mistreated.)

IMYAGirl,

Natasha

P.S. – Thank you all so much for your comments. I love reading your views. I hope you don’t feel like I was disagreeing just to be different or argumentative. I just believe that when it comes to love, you should try your hardest before quitting. It’s during those times, you will learn or teach the most.

If you would like my advice, please submit your letter to advice@imyagirl.com

As you know, I post a video every week, where I read a letter of someone looking for advice. Many times I’ll have the person read it to me in a video. I have to skip the video part of the feature this week, because I’m a little bit sick. But, here is a new one below, please share your opinions!

My response will be on Dog House podcast #21 (search Dog House Empire on iTunes, Spreaker, Stitcher)!

Dear Natasha,

Wow, it seems like you talk to a lot of cheaters. I don’t consider myself a cheater, but I did have an incident.

I am in a relationship. Instead of sharing a lot of details, I’ll just say I started to do it with someone, but after less than a minute I stopped. I didn’t even c*m.

My question is, because I realized the mistake and immediately corrected it, and I have no desire to do it again, do I need to tell my girlfriend about this incident? Yes, it’s keeping something from her, but this is not an issue in my life and by her knowing about this 40 second encounter, it could leave her mind ALWAYS focused on that moment rather than enjoying the great things that come from our relationship?

Jay

Here are more responses from the readers posted on my Facebook:

My response is on Dog House podcast #19 where I also read some of your responses! (Search Dog House Empire on iTunes, speaker, stitcher)

Dear Natasha,

A few years ago, I went on a coupe of dates with a guy. Both times I gave him oral. What can I say, I was young & having fun.

He was actually a cool guy, but not the guy for me. As weird as this might sound, I set him up with my sister. She had tickets to a concert and her friend backed out, so I said I have a cute guy for her. I didn’t expect anything to come of it.

They ended up getting together. I could hardly look at him in the eye. And I felt like I was hiding something from my sister. I was able to manage for a while because I moved away to another state. Fast forward full 2 years later. I just moved back. And my sister just told me she is marrying Shawn.

I honestly still feel like I’m hiding something from her. I’m writing to ask what you think would make me the better sister… letting her know that I had relations with her fiancé before they get married? Or, just keep it to myself because it meant nothing to me. What does worry me, is that one day he might tell her and then she comes to me asking why I never told her.

Sasha

Here are more responses from the readers posted on my Facebook:

Chris discovered his new wife was hiding a massive credit card debt! Watch the video to hear the details. Listen to The Dog House podcast where I read some of your comments and give my advice on podcast #18!

Please SUBSCRIBE to the podcast so you don’t miss it! I have officially joined the show so I will be taking your letters there each and every week!

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Dear Natasha,

Let me start by saying, I’m a pretty relaxed type guy. It takes a lot to get me upset, but right now I am beyond livid due to my wife lying to me.

I met my wife Aria a year and two months ago. I fell in love hard and fast. After 9 months of dating, we both knew we wanted to get married. I said jokingly, several times, just make sure you don’t hit me with any surprises. She said, “No way… what you see, is what you get!”

Last month I opened a credit cad statement of hers and saw she owes 25 thousand dollars. I couldn’t believe it. I demanded to know how much other debt she has and it turns out she has $50,00 total and has shitty credit.

I’m so pissed! It took me years to save $35,000 so I could one day buy a house. And now instead of getting a home I’m facing the decisions of whether or not I should waste my money on her debt and still end up 15k in the hole.

I told her I’m not paying for it. She needs to get 5 jobs if she has to, but I’m not paying of it. I feel like a jerk now because I went off on her like I never have on anyone, but I also feel like this is allnout deception on her part. I love her very much but it has changed the way I look at her. I hope my negative feeling about her is temporary.

I wanna kow what you think I should do. Do I make her pay for it?or is this my big problem now?

By the way, I’ve been a fan for along time and I love that you have joined a couple of radio shows. It’s awesome to hear the girl I usually only see.

Chris

Here are more responses from the readers posted on my facebook:

Dear Natasha,

I wanted your opinion on a work situation I have. I’ve been at the same job for 5 years. Two weeks after I started, another guy got hired in our warehouse.

I instantly hit it off with this guy. We hung out a lot for a couple of years. Then, because I had a new baby, we hung out a lot less. We still say “hi” at work, but rarely ever hang out anymore.

Last March, he claimed he got hurt in our warehouse. I instantly felt like he was faking it. He hasn’t been at work since then but he’s getting paid on WORKMAN’S COMP. Not only that, I saw him with my own eyes playing basketball over the holidays. I’ve heard from 2 other people he’s faking his injury.

My question is, should I turn him in? I have to work hard to EARN my living. And, I’ve always hated people that take advantage of the system. But, he was a friend. I’m not sure why I think about it so much, but it really bugs me.

Thank you,
Aaron

Dear Aaron,

Although most of the comments say to turn your ‘friend’ in, I wouldn’t feel right giving you that advice.

I do believe in doing what is right. Like you, I also don’t like people that take advantage of the system. It becomes the burden of others to pay for.

The thing is, you don’t know what this will lead to for the other individual. Will it just cut off the money? Or will it lead him going to jail, which your friend would lead to him not being able to find work for years in the future? It’s easy to say, “well that’s what he deserves.” Then what? Will you get some satisfaction out of him going to jail? Probably not.

I think you are frustrated when you compare your life to his. You see how hard you are working and he doesn’t have to. But, if you turn him in, your situation will not change. You will still have to work hard and take care of this new child you have. If you look at this honestly, his situation does not affect your life in any way. I’m glad that you admitted that you can’t stop thinking about it, because it’s one of the biggest problems people have… worrying about what other people are doing. We constantly compare ourselves to others at work, friends, old classmates, celebrities and more. We can all easily get mad when we think to ourselves, “How the hell did HE or SHE get that, when I don’t have it!”

The better advice I can give is, work on not letting other people’s situations bother you. That energy would be better spent on what you want out of life and how you can get there. That is something that will make you feel better in the end.

Don’t get me wrong, if you know about a kid being abused or you see someone push down an elderly woman, inset yourself… they need you. But in this situation, I think you should remember that he was your friend. And as a friend, maybe you should say, “Hey buddy, I just wanted to let you know that some people have been talking about you faking a claim, and I saw you out playing basketball. I’d hate to see you go to jail, so, maybe it’s time to get back to work.” Or, if you don’t feel comfortable saying that, I would walk away and concentrate more on what makes you happy and less on what makes you mad.

Hope this helps …. you know I’m here for ya, because IMYAGirl! – Natasha